What is this MP ?

Officer : What Is Your Name ?
Desi Man : M P. Sir

Officer : Tell Me Properly
Desi Man : Mohan Pal Sir

Officer : Your Father's Name ?
Desi Man : M P. Sir

Officer : What Does That Mean ?
Desi Man : Manmohan Pal Sir

Chemical Formula for Water

Desi Man: Beta, what is the chemical formula for water?

Son: H I J K L M N O.

Desi Man: What are you talking about?

Son: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

Desi Man and Gambling

A beggar asks Desi man for a Rupee.

"Do you drink, smoke, or gamble?" asks desi man.

The beggar says, "I don't touch a drop, never smoked and hate gambling."

"Okay," says desi man, "If you will come home with me I will give you a 10 Rupees."

As they enter the house, Desi man's wife takes him aside and hisses, "How dare you bring that terrible looking man into our home!?"

"Darling," says desi man, "I just wanted you to see what a man looks like who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and doesn't gamble."

Desi Man in Multi National Company

Desi Man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"

No", replied desi man.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!"

Desi man shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"

"No", replied the Managing Director.

"Thats Good!", replied desi man and put down the phone!

Why Superman is an Indian?

Desi Man: You know, I belive Superman is an Indian.

Sardar: Why is that?

Desi Man: Because It is only our country where a man can travel faster than trains.

Psychiatrists vs. Desi Man

Santa always had a fear of someone hiding under his bed at night. So he went to a psychiatrist and told him. "I've got a problem. Every time I go to bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. Do you think I'm going crazy??"

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the psychiatrist.  "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..."

"How much do you charge?"

"200 Rupees a visit," replied the psychiatrist.

"Oh, that's expensive, I'll sleep on it," he said.

Six months later they met on the street.

Desi Man Describes his Wife

Desi man's wife asked her husband to describe about her.

Desi man:  You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.

Wife: What does that mean?

Desi man: Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

Wife: Oh that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?

Desi man: I'm Just Kidding....

Wallet Found!

Desi man called FM radio & said, "I've found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of Mr. Santa Singh."

RJ : "How honest!! so you want to return his purse…?"

Desi man: "Not at all. I just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him…"

Vehicle full of girls

Once a desi man worshipped hard to make God happy. Ultimately, God was satisfied with him and appeared in front of him and asked for what he wanted.

Desi man: Plz give me a job, a driver and 1 big vehicle full of girls.

God: Bless u!

After that.. our desi man became the bus conductor of a Girl's College.

Male aur Female Makhhi

Desi man's wife walked into the kitchen to find her husband busy with a fly swatter.

“Kya kar rahe ho idhar?” she asked.

“Makhhi maar raha hun,” he responded.

“Oh! Abhi tak koi 1 ko bhi maar sake ho kya?” she asked.

“Han, 3 males, 2 females,” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. “Male Female kaise kah sakte ho?”

He responded, “3 beer can me they, 2 phone pe.”

Missing Husband

Desi man's wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing.

The policeman asked for a description.

She said, “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 2, has dark eyes, dark hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, very similar to John Abrahm.”

The next-door neighbor protested, “Your husband is 4 foot 10 inch, dark, obese, bald, and has a big mouth.”

Desi man's wife replied, “Yes, but who wants HIM back?”

Back from Business Trip

Desi man returns home from a business trip a day early, concerned that his wife may be having an affair. He’s riding in a auto riksaw at about 2:00 in the morning back towards his house, when he explains his situation to the auto driver.

It’s after midnight. While en route home he asks the driver if he would be a witness.

He explains to the driver that he suspects his wife is sleeping around on him, and offers him Rs. 1000 if he would be a witness to the affair, if he could catch her in bed with him. The poor driver agrees.

Sardars & desis on a train

Three Sardars and three desis are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, each of the three Sardars buys a ticket while the three desis buy only one ticket.

"How can the three of you travel on one ticket?" asks a sardar....

"Watch and you'll see," answers a desi.

Aboard the train the Sardars take their respective seats while all three desis cram into the restroom and squeeze the door closed behind them.

When the conductor comes around collecting tickets, he knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

Desi Man's Child

Desi Man's wife was expecting and the baby was due any day. The Desi man was very confident it would be a boy and was looking forward to the D-day. As fate would have it, he was transferred to another city and had to join office immediately. Before going, he asked his father-in-law to send a telegram confirming birth of his son.

But in order to avoid giving party to his office colleagues, he asks his father-in-law to write "the watch has arrived" and he will understand that the son is born.