Honeymoon Safar

Ek Bar Ek Newly Married Couple Honeymoon Ke Liye Train Mein Safar Kar Rahe Thhe.

Bich Mein Ek Lambhi Andheri Surang Aayi.

Kuch Der Baad Jab Train Surang Se Bahar Aayi To Pati Ne Patni Se Kaha: “Agar Mujhko Pehle Pata Hota Ki Surang Itni Lambi Hogi To Main Tujhse Chumma Chaati Kar Leta”

Patni Hairan Hokar Boli: “Hai Ram To Fir Vo Kaun Thha??“

The Common Man

Most of the husbands, I am sure, agree this statement.

दांत कैसे टूट गए ?

डाक्टर : आपके 3 दांत कैसे टूट गए ?

संता : जी वो मेरी पत्नी ने कड़क रोटी बनाई थी !

डाक्टर : तो खाने से मना कर देते !

संता : जी वही तो किया था!

Things in boys room...

Things in boys room...

Before marriage,

1. Perfumes

2. Love letters

3. Gifts

4. Cards

5. iPhone

After marriage,

1. Pain killers

2. Loan papers

3. Unpaid bills

4. Nokia 3310

Funny Quotes about Man-Woman Relationships

l किसी व्यक्ति से यह पूछा जाना कि वह लव-मैरिज करना पसंद करेगा या अरेंज-मैरिज, कुछ वैसा ही है जैसे किसी से यह पूछा जाना कि वह ख़ुदकुशी करना  पसंद करेगा या फिर क़त्ल होना ।

l शादी के बाद पुरुष अपनी गलतियाँ कभी याद नहीं रखते, क्योंकि एक ही बात को दो लोगों के याद रखने का कोई मतलब नहीं है ।

Santa Singh and his Wish

Santa Singh and his wife had been married for 40 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays.

During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all these years, she would give them one wish each.

Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally Santa's wife wanted for herself and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world.

The fairy waved her wand and boom! … The wife had the tickets in her hand.

Looking at Husband's Face

Santa and Banta's wife were talking.

"Do you look at your husband's face when you have sex?"

"I did once & he looked really angry."

"Why angry?"

"Because he was watching through the window!"

Desi Man Describes his Wife

Desi man's wife asked her husband to describe about her.

Desi man:  You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.

Wife: What does that mean?

Desi man: Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

Wife: Oh that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?

Desi man: I'm Just Kidding....

Cost of Marriage

A little boy asked his father,"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."

Reporting for Husband

A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband:

Woman: I lost my husband

Inspector: What is his height

Woman: I never noticed

Inspector: Slim or healthy

Woman: Not slim can be healthy

Inspector: Color of eyes

Wife without Expenses

Are you living a single life? Want someone to pamper you but cannot afford having a wife? Then Bharat Matrimony's virtual wife can be a better solution.

Bharat Matrimony gives you a chance to get "married" to a virtual wife and live life of a husband who is pampered with mushy phone calls from the missus every day. Just choose your type of wife and say "I do". Have a happy married life without having a costly wife. LOL! Bibi ho to Aisi

30 Years Yonger Woman

A couple had been married for 40 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays after worshipping their favourite god Ganesh Jee.

During the celebration, Ganesh jee appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all these years, he would give them one wish each.

Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally the wife wanted for herself and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world.

Satellite Dish

Wife: Doctor, my husband thinks he’s a satellite dish.

Doctor: Don’t worry, I can cure him.

Wife: I don’t want him cured, I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel…

The Careful Husband

Santa Singh always thinks himself as a careful husband. He wanted to give his wife something special for her birthday which was coming up soon. As he sat on the edge of the bed, he watched his wife turning back and forth and looking at herself in the mirror.

“Dear,” he said, “What would you like for your birthday?”

His wife continued to look at herself and said, “I’d like to be six again.”

Santa knew just what to do. On the big day, he got up early and made his wife a delicious breakfast. Then he took her to an amusement park where they rode all the rides.

Male aur Female Makhhi

Desi man's wife walked into the kitchen to find her husband busy with a fly swatter.

“Kya kar rahe ho idhar?” she asked.

“Makhhi maar raha hun,” he responded.

“Oh! Abhi tak koi 1 ko bhi maar sake ho kya?” she asked.

“Han, 3 males, 2 females,” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. “Male Female kaise kah sakte ho?”

He responded, “3 beer can me they, 2 phone pe.”

Missing Husband

Desi man's wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing.

The policeman asked for a description.

She said, “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 2, has dark eyes, dark hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, very similar to John Abrahm.”

The next-door neighbor protested, “Your husband is 4 foot 10 inch, dark, obese, bald, and has a big mouth.”

Desi man's wife replied, “Yes, but who wants HIM back?”

Desi Patni

Here are some beautiful lines which arrived in my email. The writer's name is not revealed but whoever wrote this, should be highly appreciated.

Husband: aaj khane mein kya banaogi? 

Wife: Jo aap kaho

H: Dal chawal bana lo
W: Abhi kal hi to khaye the

H: To sabji roti bana lo
W: Bacche nahi khayenge

Jokes on Marriage

January and February are the month of Marriages in India. So here goes 2 funny desi jokes send by our viewer Mr Chatur Yadav:


एक आदमी ज्योतिषी से: मेरी शादी क्यों नहीं हो रही है?
ज्योतिषी: कैसे होगी? कुंडली में सुख ही सुख लिखा है!

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नई दुल्हन को दुल्हे ने मुहं दिखाई के 51000 रुपये दिए!

दुल्हन इतने सारे रुपये देख कर बोली; 'क्या पूरा खानदान प्यार करेगा ?

Sweetness of Indian Wife

Indian Wives come from sophisticated culture of historic proportion. 

They do not call their husbands in front of everyone 'Abey Gadhe" interpreted in English it is "Hey Ass" in harshness. 

They call them sweetly in public in abbreviated address "A.G. sunte ho?" interpreted in English it is "Hey Ass are you listening?"

Wife and the Fish