Laloo lost Election..

A major traffic jam was preventing people from moving forward.

A motorist shouted out wanting to know what was happening.

A guy from the front replied, "Well at the traffic crossing Laloo Yadav is sprawled across the road.

He is refusing to move from there!"

"But why?"

How to make people happy?

The popular desi leaders Laloo, Jayalalitha, and Karunanidhi are on a long flight in an Air Force plane. Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs. 100 note out and make someone down below happy."

Jayalalitha not wanting to be outdone says, "If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs. 50 notes throw them down and make two people down below happy."

Of course karunanidhi doesn't want these two candidates to out do him so he pipes in, " I would instead take one hundred Rs. 1 notes and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier."

At this point the pilot who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore comes out and says, "If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 100 crore people happy!"

Laloo Hamara Neta

What would be changed if Laloo Prasad becomes India's Prime Minister:

1. National Anthem : Khana Pina Adhik Zaroorat hai...
2. National Attire : Dhoti & Kurta
3. National Drink : Fresh Buffalo Milk
4. National Animal : Buffalo, from Bihar
5. National Sport : Milking Buffalo (morning) Buffalo Race (evening)
6. Corporate Language : Enlish-va
7. National Toy : A. K. 58
8. National Family Planning Policy : Hum Do, Humare Dozen
9. National Documentry Film : Laloo Ban Gaya Gentleman
10. National Vehicle : Buffalo Cart
11. National Recreation : Pro-creation

Laloo's Slogan:

Jab Tak Rahega Samosa Me Aloo,
Tab Tak Rahega Hamara P.M. Laloo

Laloo from the South

Laloo, Rabri and his son were returning from south by train.

Laloo was ccupying the lower berth, Rabri the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train compartment.

The train stopped at one of the stations on the way back and the son asked Laloo to bring him a Cadburys chocolate. When Laloo and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.

Upset and angry, Laloo called the Ticket checker & asked him to help. The Ticket checker said that he could not understand Hindi or Bihari so it would be nice if Laloo explained the whole situation to him in English.

So Laloo explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

Laloo Bane PM

What would be changed if Laloo Prasad becomes India's Prime Minister:



1. National Anthem : Khana Pina Adhik Zaroorat hai...

2. National Attire : Dhoti & Kurta

3. National Drink : Fresh Buffalo Milk

4. National Animal : Buffalo, from Bihar

5. National Sport : Milking Buffalo (morning) Buffalo Race (evening)

6. Corporate Language : Enlish-va

7. National Toy : A. K. 58

8. National Family Planning Policy : Hum Do, Humare Dozen

9. National Documentry Film : Laloo Ban Gaya Gentleman

10. National Vehicle : Buffalo Cart

11. National Recreation : Pro-creation

5 Funny Laloo Jokes

Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".



The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.



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Laloos family planning policy..   "Don't have more than two children in one year"



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At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,   "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"  Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."



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After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling.



Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbow on the back of the cattle he poses for a photograph. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.



GUESS THE CAPTION !!



"Laloo, third from left!"



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Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were travelling by a private plane.Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, "This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane. Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here."



Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane.Sonia Gandhi said, "Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live !" She also grabbed a parachute and jumped Laloo Yadav said, "I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India ....and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live !"



Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane. The old saint said to the school boy, "There is only one parachute left, and there are two of us. I am an old man and don't need to live any more. You take the last parachute and jump." The school boy said, "Don't worry ! There are still two parachutes left with us ! The most intelligent person,Laloo Yadav, jumped off the plane with my school bag !"

Lalu Ke Piche Kutta

Ek bar Laloo kahi jaa rahe the..

Raste me unke piche kuute ka bacha pad gaya.

Lalu bola"Hum to Airtel ka card dalwa hoon phir sasuri e hutch ka network kaise pakad raha hain..........."

Laloo's Son Marriage

Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son.

Laloo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I want to choose my own bride".
Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...... Yes"

Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani

Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes"

Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes."

This is how business is done!!!

Mayawati came to Lalu’s house

Mayawati came to Lalu’s house with a goat…
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun layi ho?

Maya : Dikhta nahi, goatwa hai.
Lalu : Hum goatwa se hi puch raha hu!!!

Laloo's English

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft
Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further
correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks
Bill Gates.

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : “Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar
khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai.”
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued…… “Ab hum aap sab ko
apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai -

isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad —– Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet —–aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement —– humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance —– ab Letter vetter bhejne
ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call —– phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained —– bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks —– aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. —- Tohar Bilva. .